Pretty much the only way you're going to be getting your wholesome, furry goodness *cough* at this point is by throwing a party in the server room. (And I'd imagine that S&D would take issue with that.)
tl;dr - ISP's shit's broke. Nothing we can do about it. Patience is a virtue. Etc, etc, etc.
PS: I totally just noticed that I haven't done stats in like... two months. Not that I can do it now. Servers are inaccessible. :D
Lack of update: 2009-12-01 15:30 UTC (10:30 EST)
Well, what can I say. Our ISP is still not talking to us. (And I'm sure anyone who is resourceful can dig up who our ISP is.)
Going on 24 hours with no updates. When we know something, we'll post it.
We also have no plans to ask for donations for this problem. Because it won't actually solve the problem, in this case.
Update: 2009-12-02 02:00 UTC (21:00 EST)
(08:48:04 PM) Dragoneer: That the fiber lines were damaged, they're doing emergency repairs.